My Secret, Chapter 11

Chapter 11:
Enter the Sutherlands

Had the streets of London always been this grey?

We were making our way through the streets of the city, meandering through the darkness lit only by dim headlamps and gas lights shining from windows as we passed. The darkness seemed thick and oppressive – even somewhat penetrating, and I was grateful for the window being shut tight. I felt as though if I stepped out into it, into the blackness and the fog, my soul would be swallowed up in it, into the swirling muddy blackness that lay beyond the windows of Dr Sutherland's carriage.

Dr Sutherland sat opposite Colin and I. He was a middle-aged man, rather tall, with a face that was creased with frown lines. He wore about him the seriousness that seemed to accompany most educated men, and he did not smile often, merely lifting the corners of his mouth when Colin displayed his youthful exuberance or told an amusing anecdote. He had spoken very little to me since we had left the train station, beyond the regular formal courteouseys, and I got the feeling that he felt he had very little time for young women – especially those that had been brought up and educated far off in the wilderness of Yorkshire.

Colin sat by my side, evidently excited that I had arrived at last. He was his usual self – exactly how I remembered him. Brimming with self-confidence and chatting non-stop about his education and life in London. It felt good to see Colin – the one familiar person I knew in this dark and dreary place. Already I missed Misselthwaite immensely. I missed the stark emptiness of the countryside, the big old house with all it's secrets. I missed the Secret Garden, which had been my refuge and sanctuary for so long, and of course, I missed Dickon. I thought of him – so many miles away now, and wondered what he would be doing. It was late – he had probably eaten dinner already at the house, and had made his way back to the cottage he shared with Ben Weatherstaff. I could picture him sitting by the fire in the kitchen of the cottage, perhaps half listening to Ben as he spoke of the old days, or alone in his bedroom, with a pencil and a piece of paper... from which he would draw any manner of creatures and bring them to life under his hand. I saw him as I remembered him then, as a young lad, with his animals all around him. I remembered Soot the raven, who had sat on his shoulder, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for a bird to do. I remember my first thoughts of him then, that he had been some kind of animal charmer, like the one's I had seen when I was growing up in India. Later on I had realised that he did not possess any particular kind of magic, rather the animals responded to his kind and gentle nature, knowing that he would not hurt them. It was the same for people, too, I mused. Then blushed as I thought of his eyes – and the way they had penetrated right into me, speaking to me, and telling me not to be afraid.

Telling me -

My thoughts were interrupted by Colin, speaking eagerly at my side. He was sitting rather animated – upright in the seat – a stark contrast to Dr Sutherland who sat opposite us and barely moved at all.

'So tell me Mary, how are everyone at Misslethwaite? It seems like years since I last went back to visit.' He paused, but not long enough to let me answer, for he carried on 'and my Father, I trust he is well? still burrowing himself away in that Library of his? and what of the Garden?' By this he meant the secret garden. He laughed, looking at me and grinning. 'You're not still getting Dickon to slave over that garden, are you Mary?!'

I felt myself flushing at the mention of Dickon's name. Did Colin know about Dickon and I? I tried desperately to quell my beating heart.

'Well, you know how Dickon is.' I replied 'I couldn't keep him away from the garden if I tried.'

'Dickon', Dr Sutherland suddenly interjected. 'I've heard that name before. Colin, is he the common Moor boy you were telling me about, who was helping you with – what was it? - your secret garden?'

Your secret Garden? I thought.

'Oh yes, Dickon has been there right from the beginning. He helped somewhat in bringing the Garden back to life when we found it.'

I stared at Colin, wondering what kind of story he had told the Sutherlands about the discovery of the Secret Garden. We both knew full well that he hadn't played any part in discovering it. His part in the story came later. I would have to ask him when we had a moment alone, I decided, rather irritated at him.

'Oh, I see.' Dr Sutherland said. 'Well, those Moor boys can be handy to have around if you need some physical labour done. Built like Oxen, some of them, well so I've been told. But brute strength does not compare to intellectual ability, does it, my boy'

Now it was Colin's turn to blush. How could he let Dr Sutherland say something like that? I wondered, feeling my anger rise.

I spoke up.

'Actually Dr Sutherland, Dickon Sowerby has been a very good friend of Colin and I for these past five years. Do you know it was he who helped Colin learn to walk again?'

'Is that so?' he mused, placing his hands under his chin, and looking at me for what seemed an uncomfortably long amount of time. All the while the carriage making its way through the dim London streets.

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'Look Mary! here it is!'

Colin raised his voice in excitement, pointing at a large red brick house that was appearing out of the fog, as if by magic, as we made our way closer. Presently the carriage halted and Dr Sutherland got out, followed by Colin. Colin held the door open for me, and then grinned at me, bowing and gesturing for me to exit. He looks just like a court jester, posing as an ill-educated servant, I thought, but had to smile at his antics. It was clear that Colin still retained some of his theatrical charm.

'I would like to welcome Lady Mary Lennox to the residence of the Sutherland family,' he began in a overly snobby voice. 'Ma'am if you would just step down from your carriage.'

I felt the cold cobbled stones under my feet and watched as Dr Sutherland entered the large house, and returned with two servants. Colin smiled, and took my arm. 'I can't wait to introduce you to everyone, Mary. They've all heard so much about you. Mainly about you being my cousin and all, and all the adventures we've had over the years at Misselthwaite! and of course they want to know all about India and what it's like to live there and the Rajahs – which I told them were boy princes covered in hundreds and hundreds of jewels and-'

'My dear boy, now is not the time to stand and talk. They await Miss Lennox inside.' Dr Sutherland reprimanded softly.

We turned and headed up the steps, and I couldn't help but notice the servants bow as we went past. What kind of house was this? I wondered. I hoped the servants wouldn't feel they had to treat me that way for too long. It made me feel uncomfortable, and once again, I longed for the familiarity of Misselthwaite – of home.

It was certainly a grand house, and very modern, compared to Misslelthwaite. The floorboards were polished and covered with brightly coloured rugs – some of which I recognised as being from India. We walked down the hall, following Dr Sutherland. At last we came to a door and went inside – to a large and comfortable room filled with armchairs and a blazing fire.

The first person I noticed was a young girl, seated opposite the door who smiled as we went in. She must be Samantha, I thought to myself, before turning to see who else occupied the room. A middle-aged woman was sitting on the chaise next to Samantha, Mrs Sutherland, I thought. Sitting on her right was an older girl – probably close to Dickon's years in age, and sitting next to her was a young man who looked to be in his early 20's. An elderly woman with white hair sat at the other end of the room, closest to the fire, and seemed to be engaged in some kind of embroidery.

Dr Sutherland's voice rang out over the room.

'I would like to introduce Miss Mary Lennox, niece of Lord Craven, who has joined us tonight from Misslelthwaite Manor.'

I smiled shyly at everyone seated around me, not knowing exactly how to proceed, but Mrs Sutherland gestured for me to come and sit next to her. I noticed that Dr Sutherland had moved towards the door and was talking to one of the servants stationed there.

'Mary, how lovely,' she said, holding her hands out to me in a welcoming gesture. She took my hands in hers, drawing me towards her and kissing me on the cheek. 'We've heard so much about you. Let me introduce you to my family.'

The older girl was the first to be introduced.

'This is my eldest daughter, Miss Sutherland. But we just call her Patricia.'

'Mother! we all know that it's Pat – Patricia sounds so formal!' she complained in a joking tone, then came forward to me.

'Delighted to meet you, Mary' she said, taking my hands and kissing my cheek as Mrs Sutherland had done.

'And this is my oldest child – William.' she said, leading me towards the young man. He smiled and took my hands. 'Mary Lennox', he began, 'so this is the beautiful young lady you've been telling us about, eh Colin'. His hands felt warm in mine, and I noticed his eyes upon me. I glanced away and managed to mumble 'I'm very pleased to meet you, too.' before being whisked away to the next person.

'Miss Lennox' – then after a stern look from Pat 'Mary, I would like to introduce you to my youngest daughter, Samantha Sutherland.' and after a 'hmmm!' from Pat, 'Sam for short.'

I had guessed that she would be Samantha, she seemed to be of a similar age to Colin and myself, and I was intrigued. It was the first time I had been around a young woman of my own age since I had been in India, and I was fascinated by her, in spite of myself.

Samantha Sutherland had dark brown hair, almost black, with skin as pale as ivory. Her features were delicate, which gave her an almost childlike, innocent look, yet there was an intellegance within her grey eyes – and I got the feeling that there was more to her than met the eye. I supposed I would find out, I sighed inwardly. This was to be my home now...

The last person to be introduced was the elderly lady with white hair. She was small and rather dainty, and spoke with what I could only take to be a high class London accent. 'My Mother, Mrs Maia Bennet.' Mrs Sutherland said, smiling fondly at the woman seated next to the fireplace. 'My dear girl', the old woman said 'we've heard so much about you, and we hope that you will feel at home here, as much as our dear Colin has done over the past two years.' Her smile of welcome seemed genuine enough, so I smiled back.

I turned and saw Colin standing next to William, talking in an animated way. Dr Sutherland was nowhere to be seen, and I supposed he had business to take care of. Pat and Sam were sitting together on the sofa, chatting to each other and every now and again stealing a curious glance at me. All of a sudden I longed to be alone, to be somewhere where I would be safe – where no prying eyes could venture. I longed for the sanctity of the Secret Garden, and more than anything else, I pined for Dickon. I would have given anything at that moment to feel his arms around me, to hear him say 'Hush, Miss Mary', and to see his smile.

Mrs Sutherland's voice broke through my thoughts. I sighed and put my thoughts of Dickon on hold.

'Mary, my dear the servants have prepared your room for you. You will be sleeping in the same room as Samantha.' I noticed she had said the girl's full name again, and then saw that Sam had shot her a withering glance. I guessed that 'Samantha' was a title that was only used in the company of visitors. Then a thought hit me. I was not going to have my own room? no place to call my own? I tried to keep my feelings in check. I was too weary to give in to them, just yet. But to have no privacy, no peace? I bit my lip, feeling anger beginning to grow inside me, all of a sudden hating my Uncle for sending me away, when I should have been back at Misselthaite, where I belonged. I longed for the simple things, the beauty of the moor and the gardens, the sight of Ben's cottage, where Dickon lived, its simple whitewashed walls gleaming in the sunlight. I felt a hollowness in the pit of my stomach at the thought of Dickon. I wondered what he was doing now? was he thinking of me? You won't see him again for a long time, Mary Lennox, my inner voice taunted me. Not for a long, long time. What were you thinking of when you told him that you loved him? when you knew that you were going to leave?

'Come Mary, let me show you to your room. You might like to refresh yourself before dinner.'

'Don't worry Mother, I'll show her up', Sam said, jumping up and heading towards us, giving Mrs Sutherland a dazzling smile.

'You see, we've got so much to talk about. We have to get to know each other, after all.'

'Yes, that's fine Mrs Sutherland.' I replied, wanting then, more than anything to escape from the confines of the stifling sitting room. 'After all, it is Sam's room.'

'Well, we will see you two girls for dinner then. Don't be late, Samantha.'

'We won't Mother. Come on Mary.'

Sam took me by my hand and led me from the room. I was grateful and noticed I felt better immediately after leaving. She must have noticed my relief.

'I can't stand sitting in there either, god, what a bore it is sometimes! and Mother seems to get more old fashioned by the day!'

'I'm not used to seeing so many people all together like that', I said. 'At Misselthaite, there is only my uncle and myself, and the odd servant. Not like here. This is going to take some getting used to.' I was curious. 'Does your family always sit together like that?' all night? I wondered.

'Oh, all the time. Mother deems it a proper way to spend the time, and she is always trying to impress Grandmother. Usually, its only the four of us – Pat, Mother, Grandmother and I. It is so unbelievably boring. Mother insists that we do nothing except play cards or embroider, and the hours pass so slowly. Which is why I'm so glad you've come to stay with us, Mary! you'll be a breath of fresh air around here!'

I shuddered inwardly, already thinking of countless hours I was to spend here, the time that would be wasted, the dread of knowing that Misslethwaite was so far away. I decided then, that I would do whatever it took to get back to Misselthaite – my home, and to Dickon, as quickly as I could.