My Secret, Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The Reunion, Part 2

‘I, ah….. Dickon!’ I spluttered, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I felt as though I would faint, I could hardly believe that he was right there, standing in front of me.

‘It looks as though tha’ could use a hand’, he grinned, indicating the shards of the ceramic cup that had met an early demise after Dickon’s surprise arrival. His blue eyes were twinkling with amusement.

‘Oh yes, thank you.’ I replied weakly, and together we began to pick up the pieces of the broken china.

I took a chance to look at him quickly then – he appeared much the same, although his hair was a little longer, and bangs of it hung before his forehead, which he kept pushing back absentmindedly. I noticed that he was in his work clothes – old trousers, and a white shirt and vest. His cap, he had taken off, and I saw he had placed it on the ground beside him. I kept wanting to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming – that he actually was here, that he was real – that Dickon Sowerby was sitting next to me on the floor of our room at Thwaite village Inn. Looking at him literally took my breath away.

I didn't know where to begin. I wanted to tell him how much I had missed him, and how his arrival was so welcome, but I couldn't find the words. We stared at each other, waiting for the other to begin, until at last he spoke.

‘I had t’ come, as soon as I heard th’ news of tha’s arrival in the village.’

‘You spoke to Martha then?’ I replied quaveringly, finding my voice at last.

‘Aye.’ She told me tha was here wi’ Colin an a girl from London?’

‘Sam. I mean, Samantha – but she prefers to be called Sam.’

‘Aye. So anyway, I thought t’ myself that tha’ must be verra afraid an lonely – havin just arrived an not bein with tha folk an all, so I thought I would pay thee a visit.’

He smiled as he said this, that impish, mischievious look that I had missed so much. I couldn’t resist that smile. I leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips with my own, then reached for him and drew him towards me, bringing my arms around him and leaning against his broad chest. He smelt good, like the heather on the moor, and of the earth and hard work. I sighed and inhaled deeply. The smell bringing back memories of times when I had been secure and whole. Dickon tightened his arms around me also, one of his hands lightly stroking my back.

‘Ah lass, tha’ feels thin.’ He murmered.

‘I’ve missed you so much, Dickon.’

‘As I have thee.’ He replied.

His blue eyes shone with feeling, and he drew me into his arms once again. This wasn't how I had pictured our reunion – embracing on the floor, kneeling amoung shards of broken china – yet I didn't care. I was with Dickon, that was all that mattered. I leant up against his broad chest and sighed.

'Did you get my letter?' I said, feeling my heart begin to pound furiously again.

'Wha' letter does tha' mean?' Dickon replied.

'Well..... the letter that I sent explaining why we had come. Did you not receive it?'

'No. I only found out tha' would be here from Martha.'

'Oh.' I replied, feeling my heart sinking. So he didn't know. He had no idea why we had come.

'It's just that...... well...... some things have happened over the past few weeks, and I so badly wanted to tell you..... ' I licked my lips nervously. 'you see, what happened was that - '

Just then, we distinctly heard the sound of voices, outside the room. Dickon and I flew apart, and I stood up hastily, brushing down my dress.

'That will be Colin and Sam, back from the village.' I said.

I suddenly felt nervous as to how Colin would react to Dickon's presence. I hadn't told him that Dickon and I were on intimate terms, and I had sworn Sam to secrecy.

I could hear them laughing together, outside the door. Dickon got up and went to sit on one of the chair by the fireplace. The door slowly creaked open, and Sam and Colin appeared, their laughter dying from their faces as their eyes rested on Dickon.

'Dickon?!' Colin exclaimed. 'what are you doing here?'

He went over to Dickon immediately, and shook his hand, then Dickon pulled him into a brief hug. Colin laughed 'It's been ages since I last saw you!'

Sam hung back by the doorway, rather shyly. I glanced at her face, trying to gague her reaction, but her gaze was transfixed on Dickon, and on Colin.

'Well,' Dickon was saying, 'I heard tha' was in th' village, so I thought I should stop by and see thee.' He idly shoved a bit of the broken tea cup with his foot. 'Miss Mary was so surpised t' see me that she dropped her cup!'

'So I see!', laughed Colin. 'Oh Dickon, you have no idea how pleased I am to see you!'

I watched the two young men, feeling mixed emotions. How would Colin react when he found out that Dickon and I were on intimate terms? and how was I going to tell him?

I noticed Sam, standing by the doorway, as transfixed by the scene as I was, and I gestured for her to come over.

'We musn't be rude to our guest', I said, nudging Colin. 'Dickon, I would like you to meet Sam – Samantha Sutherland. I stayed with her and her family in London for the past two months.'

'Yes,' interjected Colin. 'Dickon, this is Samantha – Miss Sutherland.' he said, giving me a disapproving glance, at what I took to be my lack of formality.

Dickon strode forward and took Sam's outstretched hand.

'Verra nice t' meet you, Miss Sutherland.' he said, smiling softly.

'Thank you. It's lovely to meet you too, Dickon I've...... I've heard so much about you.' She stuttered, her cheeks growing red. ' and please, call me “Sam”. Miss Sutherland is so formal.'

'Verra well then...... Sam', Dickon replied.

'Shall I ring the bell for Tea, then?' Colin asked.

'Yes, please do. I could certainly do with a cup.' replied Sam.

'Aye, an' I wouldn't mind.' Dickon said, with a grin.

Lord knows, we could all do with something. I thought. Although perhaps stronger than a cup of tea.

'and you, Mary? will you be joining us?' Colin quieried.

'Yes, of course.' I said. 'I'm sure we've all got a lot to talk about, and a good strong cup of tea will set us right.'





'I must admit, I was a wee bit surprised t' hear of thee's arrival.' Dickon was saying, 'I knew tha' would be back for Christmas, but not before.'

We were all sitting around the small dining table in the room, drinking tea and eating freshly baked scones. The fire was roaring, casting a soft glow over the room, making it feel cosy. The four of us were talking animatedly. I felt so relaxed and comfortable, that if it hadn't been for Sam's presence, I think I might have forgotten that the last couple of months had ever happened.

'Yes, it did happen rather quickly.' I replied, helping myself to a second cup of tea.

'These things do, sometimes.' Sam interjected. 'I so wanted to see Mary's home. I think I must have played some part in our arrival in Thwaite.'

'There is so much to see here, Sam. I think you will love it.' Colin smiled warmly at her, and I mentally thanked him for changing the subject.

'Well, w' Miss Mary, and Master Colin as your guides you won't be missin' anythin', like they said – There is much to see in th' countryside.' He paused, and then gave us a long, knowing look. 'I take it tha' Uncle has not been alerted to thee's arrival, yet?'

'Well..... no.... not exactly.' replied Colin, pushing his dark hair out of his face. For once, he seemed at a loss for words.

'You see..... it's all rather complicated.'

Dickon raised his eyebrow, but said nothing.

'There is something you could help us with, Dickon – if you wouldn't mind, that is.'

'I'll help thee in any way I can.'

Sam caught my eye through the exchange, and gave me smile. She had been watching the interaction between the two young men intently, and I could tell that she was impressed with Dickon's maturity.

'Do you know of anywhere we could hire a carriage?' Colin asked, trying to sound casual.

'Ah! so thee can travel t' Misselthwaite?'

'Yes.'

'We would appreciate any help you could give us, Dickon.' Sam added.

Dickon sat still, deep in thought. Presently he spoke.

'Martha - '

'That's Dickon's sister', I whispered to Sam.

'Martha's husband – my brother-in-law, is part of a carting business. I know he regularly travels up t' Misselthwaite. Perhaps...... if thee wouldn't mind travellin' w' him that is.... well, I know for a fact he will be going up there t'morra.'

I looked at Colin and Sam, and seeing no objections, voiced my opinion.

'That sounds like a splendid idea, Dickon.'

'Colin?' he quieried.

My cousin set down his tea cup.

'If my cousin and Samantha have no objections, than neither do I. I just hope Father doesn't jump out of his skin when he sees us.'

We all laughed at Colin's little joke, and the mood of the room lightened once again.

'I'm sure he won't, Master Colin. Thee has surprised him more in th' past, I'm sure.'

We all laughed, and I thought fondly back to the time when a young boy had learned to walk again.

'All right then, let's sort out the details.' replied Colin. 'We have a lot to get through.'




Dickon leaned back against his chair and stretched. 'I had better get going.' he said, 'I was meant to be back over an' hour ago.'

He began to get up, and walked towards the door.

'Goodbye, Dickon', Sam said. 'It was lovely to meet you, at last.'

'And you, Miss Sam.'

'Goodbye.' I whispered. 'We will see you tomorrow, then, Dickon?'

'Aye.' he replied, holding my gaze for as long as he dared, for a moment his features softening into tenderness. 'of course.'

Colin got up and followed Dickon to the door. 'Ah Dickon' he said in a low voice 'do you mind if I accompany you outside? there is a matter I would like to discuss with you....... one that is particularly delicate.'

Dickon shot me a puzzled look. I supposed he couldn't help it. I felt my heart sink when I guessed what it was Colin wished to discuss with Dickon.

In reply to Colin Dickon turned to him and nodded, and the two of them departed the room, Colin closing the door softly behind him, leaving Sam and I only to guess as to what was being discussed downstairs. Sam gave me a frightened look, her eyes saying what she could not. Asking the question that both of us were desperate to have answered. How would Dickon react to Colin's news?


Later that night, I awoke from a broken sleep to feel the covers being pushed back. Sam was getting out of bed. She leant over to me and whispered softly:

'I'm going to get a drink of water. I shan't be long'

I looked over through half-closed eyes and saw her take the candle that weakly lit out bedroom.

'Oh.... how cold it is!'

Sam, clad in her nightgown, and holding a single candle, exited the room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Colin was sleeping in the room next to us – having once again occupied the space beside the fire. I lay awake, pulling the blankets tightly around me, and I began to hear Colin and Sam's voices, murmering softly. The walls in the Inn were thin – any noise travelled easily.

'Did you tell him?' I heard Sam say.

'I had to. What else could I have said?'

'How did he take it?'

'Badly......I've never seen Dickon so angry in my life.'

'I'm not surprised – I mean, they've always been close, haven't they?'

'Well, since we were children. He's very protective of her.'

'This is all so overwhelming.' Sam was saying.

'I know.' Colin paused. 'I have no idea how Father will take all of this.'

'I just wish there was something more I could do. I feel so terrible Colin, over what happened.'

I realised that she was crying now.

'You can't blame yourself, Sam. It had nothing to do with you.'

'Colin...... I'm afraid.'

Colin murmered something that I couldn't quite make out. Silently, I crept out of bed, and placed my head to the door.

'Everything will work out, you'll see.'

I bent down, until my eyes were level with the keyhole in the door. Colin and Sam were sitting together by the fireplace, with their backs to me. He had one arm around her shoulder, and was slowly stroking her back. She was leaning into his chest and weeping quietly.
I felt as though I was witnessing something they wouldn't want me to see, and my cheeks began burning at once. Yet, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene that unfolded in front of me.

'I feel so helpless and alone. I want to help Mary, but I don't know where to begin. Oh Colin, how can I help her when I feel like this?'

'You are helping her, Sam' my cousin said softly. 'She needs all the friends she can get at a time like this.' he took her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. 'I promise you. Everything will work out.' He moved his hand up to her cheek, which was streaked with tears, slowly wiping them away.

I returned to bed, suddenly aware that I might not be the only one that had a secret to keep.